


doordash dorks

by idkevenknowwhatthisi_s



Category: Buzzfeed Unsolved (Web Series), Watcher Entertainment RPF
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Doordash, M/M, Pizza Deliveryman!Ryan, Shane is literally himself, these tags do not make sense lolz, they dont know eachother, this is some self indulgent shit right here
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-19
Updated: 2020-10-19
Packaged: 2021-03-09 05:14:13
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,054
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27109315
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/idkevenknowwhatthisi_s/pseuds/idkevenknowwhatthisi_s
Summary: Shane's a bit hungry, so he orders a nice pizza pie. Shenanigans ensue. Oneshot.(im so sorry i'm bad at summaries)
Relationships: Ryan Bergara & Shane Madej, Ryan Bergara/Shane Madej
Comments: 4
Kudos: 20





	doordash dorks

**Author's Note:**

> This is based off a instagram post i saw a while back! it was a comic of a situation like this but between the user's OCs and i rly liked it.... so enjoy

His arms stretched up, up above his head as he yawned, palms brushing the ceiling as he arched his back and flopped over.

“Wonder when the pizza’s coming” he mumbled, opening the door dash app immediately after his phone unlocked. **_YOUR DELIVERY IS ON ITS WAY! Estimated arrival time of your Dasher™, Ryan, is 6:51._ **He turned off his phone and put it in his pocket as he glanced at the clock on his wall. It read 6:50. 

“Noice!”, Shane exclaimed as he did a little shimmy, “Gotta go get a plate out”

As he reached in the kitchen cabinet for a plate and cup, his phone started buzzing itself half off the table. Shane shook his head as he looked at what had caused his phone to have a seizure.

_“This is Ryan! I’m here with your doordash order”_ a message from an unmarked number texted.

Shane started to type, _‘Yeah, lemme let you in. Once you hear the buzz open the door.’_ he pushed the button to unlock the doors to the building, _‘I’m apartment 3D.’_

The buzzer to get let up to his apartment emitted the loud **BZZZZBZBZZZBZ** it always did, and Shane pushed the button to let the guy in.

_“Ok, see you soon!”_

Shane rushed to shove a shirt on, then stood at the door for a few seconds until he heard three quick knocks. He looked through the peephole to be met with a large eye staring back at him, the guy trying to peek through. He opened the door to a shorter (to be fair, everyone looked short in his eyes; he assumed this guy was average height but just looked tiny), tanned man. He had a red-orange visor (with a pride button pin, if he might add) on over a mass of curly hair, and was wearing a Try Guys tour shirt. He had an attractive face, a nice smile, and was buff in a manscaping type way Shane could appreciate, not the ‘I eat, sleep, and breathe the gym’ way.

“Oh hey, I think I recognize you from somewhere!” The other man exclaimed.

“Maybe in a Try Guys Video?” Shane pointed to the guys shirt, “I worked at Buzzfeed with them. Left and started my own company a bit ago.”

The man’s eyes blew wide open with shock as he connected the dots in his mind,

“Wait. Your name is Shane right?”, Shane nodded, “So does that mean you’re Shane from Unsolved? Like Shane Madej Shane? Like started-his-own-company-called-watcher Shane Madej?”

Shane chucked uncomfortably then nodded, 

“Uhh, yeah. Nice to know people actually watch my shit.”

“Dude! I love your stuff! Puppet history and the professor? I fully belly laugh to that stuff”, the other man babbled as he became star-struck with the disheveled man in-front of him.

“Thanks! All of that stuff is fun to make, and that fans love it, soo…”

“Wow. That is so cool. You’re taller than you look on camera.” The other dude declared.

“Thanks?”

They stared at each other for a bit.

“Anyways, here’s your pizza,” the man handed him the pizza box, heat seeping through the bottom. “Also your shirts on backwards. And inside out.”

“Oh. Sorry, I kinda rushed to put it on. My shirtless body is not a sight I think you’d quite wanna see” Shane chuckled and grabbed the box.

“It would’ve been fine if you left it off” the other man whispered under his breath, obviously not meant for it to be heard by Shane.

“Huh?”

“Oh my god did you hear that? I’m so sorry, please don’t report me to Doordash I really need this job, oh shit oh no-”

“Dude, it's ok. I’d just recommend maybe… not doing that on a job if I were you.”

“Oh thank god. Here’s your check. You just have to sign.” Ryan handed him a pen and the check, and he began writing his name. There was no ink coming out, so he started wildly scribbling on the box, hoping the pen would start working.

The other man started speaking, “Um, you have to click the pen. The tip isn’t out so no ink is going to come out.”

“Oh… yeah. Thanks”

He clicked the top of the pen and sure enough, it immediately started writing. He finished then handed the pen and pad back over to the short man. Steam wafted out of the box Shane was holding, the other man leaning in to take a sniff of the food inside.

“What did you get on it?”

“On what?”

“The pizza.”

“Oh, uhh, sausage and olives. It sounds kinda nasty but it's generally pretty good.”

The other man took ather sniff of the scent escaping from the box.

“I don’t usually like olives, but if I’m being honest, it smells good.”

“You too.”

The words that came out of his mouth started to register in his mind and he gasped in embarrassment.

“That came out wrong. Like me, haha.”

Ryan looked at him, puzzled, “What?”

“Um, it was a bad coming out joke.”

“Oh haha. Um, I’ve got to go, but enjoy your pizza!”

“Thanks! Have a good night.”

Shane shut the door and leaned his head on it.

“Fucking idiot you are” he mumbled to himself, cringing of how much of a trainwreck he was.

His phone pinged from across the room and he went to go see what the notification was for.

_From +1 019-393-9988: Woah dude, thanks for the tip! I was expecting a solid $0 after how awkward I was._ Shane chuckled as he opened the pizza box and typed out a response.

_To +1 019-393-9988: No problem!_ He sent it, waiting a few seconds before a response arrived.

_From +1 019-393-9988: Sorry if this is super forward of me, but would you maybe wanna go out sometime? I think you mentioned coming out so I assumed you swing for the home team (if you know what I’m saying). Maybe you could show me your famous pizza!_

Shane smiled and sent a quick _I’d love too_ then asked specifics of their plan.

*** 

Turns out Ryan would not be having to wait so long to see Shane’s shirt off. (who knows if it was because directly after he got home he looked it up, or if they had some ~~ _sexual encounters~~)_

**Author's Note:**

> hope you liked!! leave a kudos/comment if you enjoyed and want to, and if not have a good day/week/month/year !!
> 
> (also lmk if you would want to see this situation but like... when they know eachother but dont recognize the other if that makes sense??? i was thinking i could but if you are really interested or really disinterested tell me!


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